The Strength to Be Myself

Hello, My name is Nyi Nyi Naing. I am 21 years old . I am proud to be one of the STAR of LP4Y (Life Project 4 Youth). I joined the program on January 2025, 21 and I completed it last July.  My goal is to become an artist. Like A Model, Makeup artist, Designer and Dancer. These things are not easy for me because I was born in a simple, ordinary family-just a poor boy trying to make his way. Also, I am gay.

Since childhood, I was always mocked, bullied, and treated with discrimination. I also never had self-confidence. Only when I came to LP4Y and met Coach Pan, who cared for me and gave me support, was I finally able to accept myself and become a stronger person. 

Since I was young, I have been treated differently. Even my parents did not accept this part of me. That's why I was raised by my grandparents. My parents are very traditional and strict in their beliefs. They never accepted the idea of being gay at all. Since I was little, I was raised mostly by my grandmother, and I only sew my father maybe once a year. Every time I did, he would always beat me. Because of that, I grew up living in my grandparents' home. My grandmother has always been my supporter, the only person who has protected me all along.

Later on, I studied things related to my parents’ interests and ended up working in their line of work to support them. I feel sad. Even though I’m lucky, even though I get everything I want, I’m still not happy. Maybe it’s because I have to hide this huge secret, that I’m gay. I always feel weak, scared, and I’ve never truly been happy or free. I even thought about ending my life, but I couldn’t do it, because I’m afraid of dying.

I’m afraid of being a shame to my parents, afraid of failing, afraid of what people might think of me. In the end, the only way to be free is to love myself and accept my existence. Even if nobody else loves me, I must love myself. Because if I can’t love myself, how could anyone else ever love me?

I was never truly happy. Because there's no one to support me. I'm wondering if my dreams are slowly fading away. After that, not only did I have to go through the COVID-19 pandemic, but also the military coup. I became completely depressed. On top of that, I lost my grandmother to COVID-19. My life fell into a bleak and hopeless state and eventually, I became someone who no longer wanted to live. At that time, one of my outlets was drawing portraits. My grandmother once told me that I was really good at it. Whenever I draw, I feel a sense of calm and peace. I especially enjoy drawing the unique features of different people’s faces. When I was young, I was often judged by my appearance. I was teased with words like “gay”, “dark-skinned”, and “big-headed”. Because of that, I grew to really appreciate drawing the beauty in differences and uniqueness.   

In 2025. I started a new path of my life. That path is through a program called LP4Y (Life Project 4 Youth). I first learned about this program from a friend. At the beginning, I didn't fully understand it, but now, thanks to the program, I’ve been able to live a better life. I have accepted who I am and have gained meaningful opportunities for work. 

Besides that, in my free time, I have had the chance to study and work on my dreams. Now, I’m very grateful to the coaches who guide me to organize my life and make the most of my time.

The past year. I’ve joined many auditions but l didn't pass any of them. I'm too feminine for guys and too masculine for girls but I believe the weaknesses they see in me are actually what make me unique compared to others.

I see them as my greatest strengths