From Fear to Confidence

Good day to all of you, I am Cristina M. Baldera, 21 years old, living in Dayap, Calauan, Laguna. I grew up without a mother. I lived with my father and grandmother. My mother left me when I was only two months old. She told my father and grandmother she would come back when my brother was seven years old, but she never came. Then she called again and said she would come home when I was one year old, but still, no one came.

When I was seven years old, we learned that my mother was pregnant. I told my father that I wanted a new mother, but he said he didn’t want to because he still loved my mom. Then my mom called again and said she wanted to take me, but my father didn’t agree. I told him I wanted to see her, but he didn’t let me, so I ran away.

I went to my grandfather, my mother’s father, hoping I could go to her. But my grandfather was not kind to me, so I called my mother to send me money for transportation to go back to Laguna. When I finally stayed in my mother’s house, I was there for three months. At first, we got along, but later my mother started hurting me and said it was because I looked like my father.

One time, my mom went home to Mindoro to visit my brother in the hospital. She left me in the house with my sister and her husband. While I was sleeping, something terrible happened, I was harmed by my stepfather. I told my mother what happened, but she struggled to believe me. So I ran away again and looked for a job.

I worked for one month, but at that job my male boss also took advantage of me. I reported it to his wife, but she didn’t believe me. When he found out that I had told her, he told me to go with him to one of his houses to get some things. I trusted him and went with him, but when we were inside the van, I lost consciousness.

When I woke up, I was in a remote house. I saw another woman there, and she was chained. I tried to run, but he caught me and restrained me too. There were six of us women locked in that house. We were held there for five years.

On February 25, 2015, my boss was not there. We heard someone passing by and asked for help. The man said he would return, and after two hours people came, broke the door, and freed us. We were brought to the barangay, where we told the truth.

After that, they called our parents. My mother came and helped me file a case. But about a month later, she said she was going somewhere. When she returned, she had groceries and money. When I asked where it came from, she said nothing. A few days later, my boss’s wife came and told me that my mother had withdrawn the case. It hurt me deeply, but I refused to accept it.

I told my mother I wanted to go to DSWD (Department of Social Welfare and Development) but she didn’t agree. So I ran away again and went to my grandmother in Bicol. I told her I wanted to go to DSWD so I could think about what to do. I stayed there for two and a half years until someone called to tell me that the man had finally been caught.

I told the head of DSWD that I wanted to return to Laguna to continue my case. After one and a half years in DSWD Lamot 2, Calauan, Laguna, I continued the case until I won.

Many people told me I couldn’t win, but I didn’t listen. I just kept going because I knew I was doing the right thing.

After one month, another child with a case like mine came to DSWD. He didn’t want to fight, but the head asked me to talk to him so he would have courage. I encouraged him to continue, and he did, but two months later, he died of a heart attack. His story made me even stronger.

On August 30, 2023, I was released from DSWD. I went home to my mom again. I was still angry, but I tried to get along with her. Then my sister got sick, and I took care of her until she died. My mother blamed me even though I did nothing wrong. Even when I didn’t eat, I made sure my sister could eat. After that, I ran away again and worked at a bakery.

I didn’t know about LP4Y (Life Project 4 Youth), but when I met my live-in partner and his sister, I learned about LP4Y because she recommended it to me. At first, I didn’t like it because it was very difficult for me, but I tried to learn everything. When I first started attending LP4Y, I didn’t know what to do, but after a month, I started liking it because I learned a lot, especially teamwork, communication, and computer skills. I’m happy to go to LP4Y every day because the other youth motivate me, and sometimes we visit different companies, which inspires me even more.

Now I am in the Management Step. I’ve learned to manage my time, lead a team, and teach my teammates our tasks. For the coming Job Search phase, I want to be a production operator, and I also want to return to school to fulfill my dream of becoming a policewoman.

LP4Y has changed me a lot. Before, I didn’t know what to do, I just slept and used my cellphone all day. But now, I know how to be a leader, use a computer, speak in English, and work with the barangay and schools. I’m learning to become a professional person.

Now I am stronger. I have learned to smile again. I don’t want to leave LP4Y because here I found my family, the youth who understand me and accept me.

In everything that has happened in my life, I have learned a lot, especially to be strong, even when people tell me that I can’t fight or finish what I started. I don’t listen to them because I know in myself that I can, and I also know that what I’m doing is right.

I want to tell others: fight back. No matter how much they threaten you, don’t give up. We deserve justice and peace. Let’s be careful in trusting people and always think before making decisions, so we can protect ourselves and others.

I hope for those who didn’t fight, this is the time when you can share your experiences. Don’t be afraid. Many will listen to you, but even if they don’t, listen to yourself. Make a way like I did. No one listened to me at first, but when I went to DSWD, people finally heard me and helped me.

As long as you don’t lose hope, always believe that you can fight for yourself, and that by standing strong, you also help others see that they can fight too.

Today, Cristina stands as a living example of moving from fear to confidence, inspiring other youth to fight for themselves and believe in a brighter future.